Sadness

Because I know some family reads this and because it is my life...my boyfriend and I broke up last weekend.

It's not that we don't love each other because we do very much. It's about me not being happy in a long-distance relationship and not seeing a way around our current long-distance situation. He can't move; I don't want to live in Toledo; there's no compromise.

It's hard for me to stay emotionally available to someone when it hurts so much to watch him drive away; we're only seeing each other once a month now and it's only going to get more expensive. There's other stuff too, but I don't want to get into the gory details.

The bottom line is that I've been thinking about this for a while and needed to share it with him. There's never a good time - the phone sucks as does the fact that doing it in person means someone has to drive home mulling it over. I can't dwell on it too much because I'm very weepy. I'm sad. We both are.

I actually wrote this on Monday, I think, and as of this hour I'm mostly okay. Still sad, not as weepy, and he and I have communicated without animosity several times. This weekend I'm off to the Himalayan Institute for a meditation workshop and it couldn't be more timely.