Stressed in Maryland

The past month has been incredibly stressful. I started buying cigarettes again stressful. Some of it is work-related - assuming full responsibility for a management application that has always been a giant fustercluck; some of it isn't and I'm not ready to talk about that stuff yet (don't worry - it's not health related).

I've slacked off in my housekeeping and my exercise routine but I've managed to keep my diet mostly on track (wiping out a half gallon of Breyer's chocolate and vanilla in three nights isn't that bad in the grand scheme of things, right?) and have shown up for most of my obligations (with the occasional missed home group and hour or two taken off work). I'm practicing the spiritual priniciples of patience and acceptance; unfortunately I'm much better at patience when it's sung by Axl Rose and acceptance of my way as the way things should be.

Those of you who believe in such things should feel free to aim prayers, good thoughts, and energy my way. It's a trying time but it won't kill me and I already know that I am blessed with friends and family for support.

I think I know what it is.

I’m in a “Sit still and WAIT” period. Either I’m suppressing whatever I might have to say or I’m deliberately not looking too closely at each passing day - the unexamined time will pass more quickly? When in reality the opposite is true - the busier I am, the more engaged, the faster time will fly. How and to what shall I turn my attention when the only thing it wants to stick to says “wait”?